Her message

I was away and she left me a message

You never wish me on my birthday. You always forget. I've never failed to do that all these years. Do you not care? My sister-in-law's getting married on the 24th. So I'm wishing you now

Happy Birthday

I was somber. Why are you so far? Why did you not listen to me? Why do you make me feel bad about this?
She's 9 days older to me. I did remember her birthday, I did want to call and wish her. Yet, I ended up not caring, and left it at that.
Why hasn't she changed?
I was by her side when no one was by her side.
I was there for her when she was betrayed in a relationship.
I gave her my shoulder to cry on, when her parents forced their decision of marriage on her.
I was listening to her when the reality hit her that she would not be able to pursue her dream to do an MBA overseas, or, an MBA at all. Your two younger sisters, they were the apple of my eyes... oh Manal...

I love you too, I love you so much. I keep you in my prayers. But I can't forget.
I can't forget that you trusted everyone else over me, when you knew they never meant the best for you.
I can't forget that you didn't want to change, when change was best for you.
I couldn't believe my friend is so weak, that she'd go against her will, and let herself suffer.

Why, just why, are you letting yourself be slowly wasted away?
Wake up, wake up my dear, I'm still here for you, miles away, but I'm there, just how I have been for the past 13 years.
The stronger I have become, the weaker you have made yourself.

Yes, we are women. And yes, we are the ones who make the sacrifices, compromises, shed tears, place stones over our hearts and minds, give up everything to keep a family together- but that only works, if your love surpasses all else. When it does, all that becomes minor, and miniature. Wounds stop hurting, and start healing. Will you never learn?
You have risked your life, and the life of another person. You've only made your task harder. How will you live with this guilt?

And what just breaks me, is it didn't even happen for the right reason- He's not a man of substance. Where is the wealth going to take you? And him? And the two of you together? If you look for comforts in life through your commitment to him, that's all you'll get. And it will leave your insides empty. Hollow.
I can't say more. It's not going to change anything. I'm sorry. You're always in my prayers- May Allah make it easy for you and ease your suffering, and guide you.